lust for life

"Oh, I wish I had a suntan
Oh, I wish I had a pizza and a bottle of wine
Oh, I wish I had a beach house
Then we could make a big fire every night

Instead I'm just crazy, I'm totally mad
Yeah I'm just crazy, I'm fucked in the head"

So tired of being tired and annoyed at people who complicate things. Life should be as simple as possible. It's already too complex as it is.

I am in the biggest creative rut right now.

edit the sad parts

sometimes all I really want to feel is love
sometimes I'm angry that I feel so angry.
sometimes my feelings get in the way
of what I really feel I needed to say



i feel sad almost all the time these days.

i just need to switch my brain off somehow.

when everything is lonely i can be my own best friend

i'll get a coffee and a paper, have my own conversations with the sidewalk and the pigeons and my own reflection.

CLICK

i'm having trouble sleeping again. mah.













we might die from medication but we sure killed all the pain.

i'm so happy

cause today i found my friends
(they're in my head)



i made a new mix tape.
you can download it RIGHT HERE



p.s. i'm so sorry there's so much of me recently, i haven't really been out much.
maths study is a bitch
i only have 23 days left though, so i'll just make up for it in the summertime (:

the cinders they splinter

and light the path.

automation

i stay silent for two years.

won't you dance with mee

i can always be found.

i will stay by your side,
and i want you to find me,
so i'll stay by your side.

it's 2:25 am

the world is sleeping
and i am numb.

i'm madly scribbling away in my notebook as i am feeling particularly inspired.
inspired about my film which i shall have to have completed by term three of this year.
these scribblings are in french
something which i can't quite understand
as, whenever i have a scene in my head, i narrate it in french
and this is not all too uncommon.







i'm so excited about filming this film, my goodness.
i get butterflies whenever i think about it.

no sunlight

no sunlight.

no rain

all I can say is that my life is pretty plain i like watching the puddles gather rain and all I can do is just pour some tea for two and speak my point of view but it's not sane it's not sane

i'm not so sure who i am and who i'm becoming at the moment

sophisticated side ponytail

I like it when you say you've got a gun in your back
That's so hot, that's so hot
I like it when you say you're gonna kill JT
Turns me on, turns me on
I like it when you say you're gonna beat kids up
Gets me off, gets me off
I like it when you say you'd go gay for Ben
That's so bomb, that's so bomb


DO YOU LIKE MY PONYTAIL!
i do i doooo

MY SIDE WAYS PONYTAIL




DO you like my ponytail?

be my photo bitch and i'll make you rich.

jamesy said to me the other day that belle and sebastian actually wrote the song sukie in the graveyard about me.
he said it was obvious, because i'm an arty kid
and i like graveyards

i don't think he was quite aware of the fact that sukie was a life drawing model.
hahaha (:

" Sukie was a kid, she liked to hangout in the graveyard
She did brass rubbings, she learned you never had to press hard
When she finished hanging out she was all alone
She decided that she better check in at home
There was an awful row between her mum and dad
They said she hadn’t done this, she hadn’t done that

If she wanted to remain inside the family home
She’d have to toe the line, she’d have to give it a go
It didn’t suit Sukie
So she took her things and left

Sukie was a kid, she liked to hang out at the art school
She didn’t enrol, but she wiped the floor with all the arseholes
She took a bijou flat with the fraternity cat
She hid inside the attic of the sculpture building
She had a slut slave and his name was Dave
She said ‘Be my photo bitch and I’ll make you rich’
He didn’t believe her but the boy revered her
He got her meals and he got her a bed
He watched behind the screen and she started to undress
He never got far
Just lookin’ and playing guitar

Autumn hanging down all the trees are draped like chandeliers
Sukie saw the beauty but she wasn’t wet behind the ears
She had an A1 body and a face to match
She didn’t have money, she didn’t have cash
With the winter coming on, and the attic cold
She had to press her nose on the refectory wall
They served steamed puddings she went without
She had to pose for life for all the scholars of art
She didn’t feel funny, she didn’t feel bad
Peeling away everything she had
She had the grace of an eel, sleek and stark
As the shadows played tricks on the girl in the dark

Sukie was a kid, she liked to hangout in the graveyard"

p.s. i've made my photos EVEN BIGGER
a whole 150 pixels bigger! ;)


P.P.S!!!!
awesome huge news!
nicki phoned me up earlier this evening
this is how the conversation went down.
N: Hey soph
S: Hey nick!
N: Guess where we'll be tomorrow night
S: Umm?
N: THE COLDPLAY CONCERT!!!!!!!!!!1111
S: what?
WHAT?!?!
WHATTTTTTTTT!!!!
*starts jumping around*

etc etc etc
but yes! nicki's mum bought me and her tickets
apparently as a reward for our business marks
oh man (:
this is the nicest thing that's happened to me in so long
LOVE LOVE LOVE to you julie!
i'm quite the excited

it's a pity clarey went tonight though
i'd love to be in the same room as her when they played don't panic.
it's okay
i'll just pretend (:

atmosphere.

officially my favourite song in the world.

it makes me feel like this.